Today has been a day of surprises, nice surprises. The dictionary tells me that a surprise is an unexpected or astonishing event, fact etc.
Yesterday I did a remote session for a client in England and as always spirit is super generous in often gifting me with an insight for myself when I am in service to others.
I woke up this morning with the thought that I don’t expect the world to love me, in fact I mainly expect it to hurt me, particularly if I am happy and in love with it.
This was a pretty profound realisation and a complete surprise as it came about quite unexpectedly from two insights that I had while I was assisting my client in a meditation to meet his spirit guide.
While I was in the meditation I realised that I was on alert for some unexpected danger i.e. walking through a forest expecting something to jump out at me, walking through flowers expecting a bee to sting me, walking into an empty temple, expecting some untoward spirit to appear or even worse – to not turn up at all. WOWSA….. my underlying fear had never been this obvious before.
Then another unexpected thing happened while in the meditation. I was playing a music CD to help with the meditation and just when my client was about to meet his spirit guide the tape stopped and started playing through the WiFi on a speaker on the other end of the house. I heard as clear as day in my mind “you are the spirit guide”. this made me realise that I don’t trust my own inner knowing and wisdom to navigate myself safely through the world. However, as always I followed the guidance I received and the session ended beautifully.
Today I also had the realisation that if I change my perspective from the world is dangerous to the world is safe and loves me then this is what I will experience. This morning I decided to make a choice to love my world, just the way it is. And that is everything… including my house, my food, my work, my body, things that I haven’t really consciously given my love to.
Within a few hours today I had some pretty amazing surprises. An offer of consulting work, an offer for someone to buy my house, my son told me what he wanted for his birthday (a miracle) and I truly came to understand the saying that my focus creates my reality. The problem is we don’t always know where our focus is, as it is often unconscious. I always thought that I had a loving relationship with the world but I realise that it is actually quite conditional and easily bounced around by circumstances.
One of the most important things for me as a healer is to hold a loving space for people and I always put my intention into this and receive feedback from clients that they feel very safe and held. Obviously this is because this is my own wounding and now that I am completely aware of this (and also vulnerable) I have choice in changing my underlying structure of my focus – my unconscious. I have decided that first thing every day and last thing every night I am going to care enough about myself to choose what I would love in my world, which is to love it and be loved by it. I felt to share the following poem by John O’Donohue called “For the Unknown Self”
For the Unknown Self
So much of what delights and troubles you
Happens on a surface
You take for ground.
Your mind thinks your life alone,
Your eyes consider air your nearest neighbor,
Yet it seems that a little below your heart
There houses in you an unknown self
Who prefers the patterns of the dark
And is not persuaded by the eye’s affection
Or caught by the flash of thought. It is a self that enjoys contemplative patience
With all your unfolding expression,
Is never drawn to break into light
Though you entangle yourself in unworthiness
And misjudge what you do and who you are. It presides within like an evening freedom
That will often see you enchanted by twilight
Without ever recognizing the falling night,
It resembles the under-earth of your visible life:
All you do and say and think is fostered
Deep in its opaque and prevenient clay. It dwells in a strange, yet rhythmic ease
That is not ruffled by disappointment;
It presides in a deeper current of time
Free from the force of cause and sequence
That otherwise shapes your life. Were it to break forth into day,
Its dark light might quench your mind,
For it knows how your primeval heart
Sisters every cell of your life
To all your known mind would avoid, Thus it knows to dwell in you gently,
Offering you only discrete glimpses
Of how you construct your life. At times, it will lead you strangely,
Magnetized by some resonance
That ambushes your vigilance. It works most resolutely at night
As the poet who draws your dreams,
Creating for you many secret doors,
Decorated with pictures of your hunger; It has the dignity of the angelic
That knows you to your roots,
Always awaiting your deeper befriending
To take you beyond the threshold of want,
Where all your diverse strainings
Can come to wholesome ease. –
From my heart to yours, Michele.